In Vain I Have Struggled. It Will Not Do...

"In vain I have struggled. It will not do."- Mr. Darcy, Pride and Prejudice

I have found myself avoiding writing this entry.....for a while now. I refused to even write it in my diary, say it to friends, and when I pray to God about it I know I sound extremely baffled by the whole situation. It’s barely a whisper as it leaves my lips. I find myself surprised, trying to think about when did it start, how did it happen? …Isn't that how it always is? It's when you least expect it...... the person you least expect and/or happens when you have no clue how it’s going to play out.  For me to say it to God and to myself is one thing, but to say it to others, write it, even acknowledge it opens me up to what I fear the most: rejection. One of my favorite verses comes to mind as I deal with my fear: 1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” (ESV).  I am in God, God is love. So His perfect love removes all fear from me because fear poses as a hindrance…. I really don’t know what tomorrow will hold, how this will play out or if it will play out and not just be something in my head. I encourage my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to trust Him always, acknowledge Him in all you do and He will direct you. Be blessed.

When Nothing Satisifies You.....

The song has been playing in my head all day. I guess its because I realize I'm at a crossroad: I am wondering where do I go from here? or even better where is God leading me? The feeling of being led blindly in the next chapter of my life is a sore understatement. But the good thing is that I'm not alone; I am not leading myself but being led by God. Also, many, many people have been in my place so I know the saying "been there, done that" will be told to me over and over. So the question now is not what is the next step but how can I encourage myself and others in the same situation as me. It's simple: I'll say that you can't go wrong when you go God's way. It's not easy, and it never goes as planned (that's for another blog entry) but it can't go wrong or be bad if God is in the midst of it. Today is the beginning of my Daniels Fast and I decided their will be a lot of things I will be laying before the Lord and bringing before Him in prayer. Also I didn't forget my promise to Stay Single for the Rest of the Year!  I'm excited for what the fast will reveal and do in my life. I'll keep you guys updated. Be blessed.