Beautiful....

I was so unique

Now I feel skin deep

I count on the make-up to cover it all

Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention

I thought I could be strong

But it's killing me

Does someone hear my cry?

I'm dying for new life

I want to be beautiful

Make you stand in awe

Look inside my heart,

and be amazed

I want to hear you say

Who I am is quite enough

Just want to be worthy of love

And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me

Fighting to make the mirror happy

Trying to find whatever is missing

Won't You help me back to glory

You make me beautiful

You make me stand in awe

You step inside my heart, and I am amazed

I love to hear You say

Who I am is quite enough

You make me worthy of love and beautiful

Beautiful- Bethany Dillon

Come Live In My Heart.....

....and pay no rent.- Samuel Lover

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Fearless

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." 1 John 4:18

Perfect love casts out fear. Fear is a crippling agent; it prevents growth, movement, freedom. Love is & of God and where God is so is the spirit of liberty, or freedom. So, what do I do when I get nervous and fearful about the next step or chapter in my life? I remind myself that God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, LOVE and a sound mind....Love, it always comes back to love. Love is what moves us, is behind most of the decisions that we make, even the excuse we hide behind to justify what we do; but what happens if we let ourselves be exposed to the PERFECT LOVE? Can you imagine how different we would be? If we let ourselves be exposed to the Almighty God in all His greatness, awesomeness, perfectness. I remember when I first came across this verse, I was so shocked how it just spoke to my situation with such a simple answer I wanted to slap my head and say "duh". I have a relationship with my Lord and Savior and because of our relationship, His Perfect Love removes all my fears because He is not the type of God to cripple me and prevent me from moving forward. He's the exact opposite: He is the type of God who by His huge capacity to love a sinner like me, had His Son die for me so that I can move freely in Him. His love allows me to grow, learn, seek and love Him. The loves we experience now: Storge (love between family members), Philia (love between friends), and Eros (love between husband and wife) are just a piece of the love that God has for us. God's unconditional love (Agape) is a love that is so powerful it makes us fearless. We know that once we on on Team Jesus, we can face anything. You can face anything, and do anything through Jesus who gives you strength. Be blessed.

When God Writes Your Love Story: Sha & Stephen

.....It's amazing from beginning to end.

"....I'll give it time; give it space and be still for a spell. When it's time to walk that way, we want to walk it well. I'll be waiting for you baby, I'll be holding back the darkest night. Love is waiting till we're ready; til its right. Love is waiting...."
Love is Waiting- Brooke Fraser

How to Get to My Heart

"A woman's heart should be so close to God that a man should have to chase Him to find her."


— C.S. Lewis

Just Because It's Valentine's Day....

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Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!!

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a (NIV)
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

 
 
Love is a beautiful and truly amazing thing when you experience it for real.

Boxes of Love

This weekend, I had the blessed opportunity to volunteer for Boxes of Love. Boxes of Love is a wonderful ministry that is part of Here's Life Inner City Ministry that helps provide food for the less fortunate during the Thanksgiving season. I went on Saturday with a couple members of the small group I attend and had a blast. I was on television (lol, the girl with the blond buzzcut), but I can't wait to do it again next year. Here's the link to the video and some more info about Boxes of Love below:

NY 1 News:
http://queens.ny1.com/content/top_stories/129320/urban-ministry-s-volunteers-pack-boxes-of-food-for-needy

Here's Life Inner City:
http://hlicnyc.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=128164

I'm At A Lost............

I just finished a novel called "The Romantics" by Galt Niederhoffer. I'm not going to spoil the ending but I actually went into it expecting the worst. Why? Because lately it seems happy endings aren't really happy endings anymore. I know, I sound like someone in desperate need of a hug; but when you look at society today and how they put their wants and needs above others you soon realize that someone is going to have their heart broken as the other person journeys down the road of self-discovery. I have this song stuck in my head by Brooke Fraser off her new album Flags, it called "Who Are We Fooling?" I listen to the words and the intensity of the situation being conveyed and can't help but think of all the people who can sing along to the song as if it was their life's bio. But the sad thing is that it doesn't have to be. If we just take our time...actually act like adults and weigh the pros and cons to every situation; if we did what was right instead of what "we felt like doing" at that moment than we would have less hearts to mend. We would have fewer people breaking hearts (if that makes sense). Hurt people in turn hurt people (someone who has been hurt only knows pain, so in turn they hurt someone else). We need to be honest with ourselves and put the other person first. When we do that, we will have less broken marriages, affairs, domestic abuse issues, etc. because we for once weren’t selfish.

Until then, the happy endings will be reserved to fairy tales and cheesy movies. Why can't we actually stay in a marriage even when the trials we face in it will provide healthy growth down the line? Why can't we talk to our spouse instead of the coworker who seems to "understand" at convenient times? Why do we expect something different from the person who was exactly that way they were when you met them? Is it fair to want them to change when they have remained consistent and you remained in denial? Most importantly, when will we stop blaming it on love and call it what it really is: lust. Lust isn’t forever; it is a temporary high, a drug that we eventually grow tired of or find a way to up the dosage. I think that at the rate divorces are happening that we should change the vows to “for better or for worst, in sickness or in health or until I tire of you.”

…….. Maybe I’m wrong, or maybe I’m right and it hurts that I finally said it out loud. Perfect way to find out if you are in love or in lust: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV): “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” If you can say that you are striving towards this daily; you are closer to love than you think. If you can’t check off 1 thing on the list, then you might want to evaluate your relationship and/or intentions…..Be blessed.

Nothing Less Than Butterflies*

"Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.*"
-Carrie Bradshaw





*This of course is after I find out he's a God-fearing, respectable, decent Man of God who loved live, his family and friends. I will stop there and save that for another posting.











image source: dominoeve.wordpress

What I'm Reading: A Love Redeemed by Julie Lessman

If you haven't caught on that the first book was awesome than I'll keep you in my prayers because I was sure I wasn't holding back. I am on the last 20 something pages of this book and all I can say is wow. This in the second book in the series of The Daughters of Boston; and I have to admit I was completely shocked at the difference between the sisters. I was actually shaking my head and tsking at every crazy and manipulative thing the main character Charity did. But as I started to dig deeper into the book and not judge Charity but try to understand her; I found myself looking at the former me. We have all been a Charity. We do what we want, what feels good, anything as long as the end result is something that we wanted. But it always comes at a price. That being said; this book is extremely good. I am trying to pace myself but its not working out really, lol. Back to reading.

image source: julielessman.com

Waiting......

Last Saturday, the S.En.S.E. (Sister Encouraging Sister in Excellence) Ministry had a seminar on waiting. It was pretty good. The topic drifted to what to do when you are actually waiting for the one God has for you and the spotlight ended up on my cousin and I.  I never really looked at it as we are the actual living examples to the younger girls we mentor. I mean, I am there when they have questions and I share parts of my past experience so they will not make the same errors; but to know that they are watching EVERYTHING  I do especially in this area makes it very unnerving. As I started to think about it and wondered what could I say with my actions realizing that my actions don't just effect me but the young eyes that are watching me I came to this conclusion: I don't mind waiting and doing it God's way. Just for the fact that I can show them that in this day and age there are still people waiting on God's timing and aren't "playing around" until then. When I look at it from that view, it makes it even more worth it. I want to be able to say "I did it, and so can you".

You Inspire Me....

I love France! The culture, the language, the style! (My friends and I are going to Paris next year!) I was looking up new haircuts and I feel in love with a cut called the "Gamine cut". Audrey Hepburn had one; and as I google and come across more images (especially french celebs) I'm convinced its time for a cut! Audrey Tatou makes me want to cut my hair myself! I'm in a stage where I need to change. I'm boring myself; and that's not a good look.


Anyway, I wen to see The Young Victoria with my friend Beatriz and I have to say I absolutely loved it! Victoria and Albert's love story was so beautiful! I also love Emily Blunt and Rupert Friend (swoon worthy; Mr. Wickham in Pride & Prejudice US version) so maybe I'm a swayed easily. Anyway, it made me think of modern day romance, or the lack thereof really; and how we're so comfortable with it. I am sorry, I love the sonnets, the letters, etc. I'm not saying be cheesy to the point I will vomit (lol), I'm just saying can we put romance back into romance?

What God Has Brought Together......

Today was Jovian & Berlinda’s wedding from Shepherd’s House. It was at this beautiful country club in New Rochelle. I had so much fun. “Richard & Maddy” didn’t get there until the reception and guess what?: she wore a white dress to the wedding! Smh. Doesn’t anyone know wedding etiquette these days? Any who, David (an Evangelist at Shepherd’s House who keeps calling me Rihanna) told me that I will receive a radical last name change. My cousin was so excited and I was sooo embarrassed! Other than that, the wedding was so beautiful. It makes waiting so worth while, to be able to walk down the aisle and into the arms of the person God has for me: priceless. Back to work tomorrow. Everyone loved my Royal Blue Club Monaco dress; I knew they would. Sigh; day in the life of a fashionista.

The Great Comedian

Sometimes I wonder if God is up there laughing away with the angels when He watches our reaction to things He has planned in our life. I say this because; I look at my cousin and his fiancèe who is my best friend. They never thought they would end up together; they never even looked at each other that way and then: BAM!

You Melt My Heart to Stone

I found myself singing "Melt My Heart to Stone" by Adele unaware at work today. I saw her live a while ago we she was in New York (she was a well kept secret then) and was amazed by how she sang that song with all her heart. You could tell she was singing the song from experience. It had me thinking: why do we do this to ourselves? Why are we so impatient to let someone in only to have them do what they want and leave without warning? It's like we prepare a wonderful feast just for them, invite them, only to have them behave how they want and leave without even a "thank you". What makes it even worst is after we get hurt we put a shield or a defense and make ourselves unreachable to the One God has chosen for us. I think it's because the first (or second or third) time we love, we love with all our hearts and we get burned. We become so guarded that the Right one has to go through some serious hurdles just to get our attention. I started thinking about this as my godmother was telling a tale about this female eagle that made a group of male eagles go through a series of tests. She told me the female eagle would pick up sticks and start to fly, she would be persued by male eagles interested in mating with her. When she gets to a certain height, she would drop the sticks and they would have to catch it. This would continue; she would fly higher and carry a heavier sticks each time. She would keep going as some of the male eagles would get tired and give up. Finally one male eagle would keep going; and she decides she will mate with him. Later they have offsprings. When its time to teach them to fly, the mom would push the offsprings out of the nest and if they don't fly the male has to catch them. She made him go through all that so would know he could handle the situation later. I thought that was the coolest story I ever heard. If we enter into courtship knowing what the person can handle before hand we won't have any surprises later.

Never Going Back to OK

I downloaded a new song last night by The Afters (LOVE THEM) after I had their song "Beautiful Love" play all day everyday. The song is called "Never Going Back to OK". All I can say is "Wow". The song is very catchy; it has an old school rock vibe to it that I love as well. What is so cool is the words, it makes you realize that the moment you accept Christ as your Savior; you change. You can't go back to being just "OK". Your whole world changes because you become a new person. Everything becomes amazing, new, spectacular. etc. because of that change. You don't just go through the motions, you start to press towards that mark in Jesus. Another song that comes to mind is "More Than Fine" by Switchfoot (Jon Foreman's voice is amazing). It's the same theme as well. You don't want to get by, to just make it: you want what's yours, your promise. You want the peace that only He can bring. And when you do; when you get a taste of what only Jesus can give you, you can never go back to just OK.