The Newly- Wed Game

My cousins (she’s my cousin now too, lol) invited me and his sister over for dinner tonight. It was hilarious. The only difference now is that she doesn’t ride home with us anymore. Any who; they were talking about their honeymoon in the Pocono’s and how much fun it was. They mentioned a game that the other honeymooners were playing called the Newly-Wed Game. It was a game to figure out how much you knew about your spouse. I think it is absolutely hilarious to see my cousin and his wife (it sounds so funny to say) talk with us; they are sickening! It made me happy that I am waiting. I want that; not the cute pukey stuff but the companionship that God has intended for me. Sigh, I am so happy for them; even though they were extremely sickening.

Last Minutes....

Today I went to get my hair done and spent the remainder of the day with the groom to take care of the last minute things before the big day tomorrow. I am so happy that my cousin has found his help mate and vice versa. I couldn’t think of a better person for him. She’s a humble, sweet, Woman of God who loves the Lord and puts others before her. I pray tomorrow is everything she wants and more!

No More!

I am sick and tired of hearing about them! I would be happy for them if it was God’s will but the more I hear about it the more I am nervous for them. I pray that they take the next steps as led by God and not by their emotions.

No Words...

There are days when I would rather be at home in my bed, locking myself off from the outside world. I am one of those people that if it can happen, there’s a chance it will happen to me. I finally figured out something about myself that I don’t like. I am an emotional sadist. I destroy, tear down, and ruin myself emotionally so no one else will have a chance. Then, I only associate myself around people who won’t put me out of my comfort zone: they only talk about themselves, barely ask questions about you, etc. I came upon this realization because I just spoke to my ex boyfriend today and he told me that he’s expecting a baby. I felt like I was being suffocated, then I realized why. We are still attached; there’s a yoke between us that hasn’t been broken yet. I still love him and he still loves me; and there lies the problem. I can’t move on if I am dragging something with me that will put me over the weight limit. I am the “numb point” now. That’s the point after you found something out and you turned it over to God but you haven’t really assessed the situation yet. I know that God is sovereign and that He already saw this situation and the result before the universe was made; I know that He has wonderful plans for me (Jer. 29:11). All I have to do is surrender.

Lord Give Me the Patience

"Lord give me the patience, I need to hold out. Lord give the strength to fight this battle."
This chorus has been on my mind a lot lately. I need patience because lately I feel like I am going to throw a serious monkey wrench in the Lord's plan for my life and ruin everything. Sigh. I know I am the only one that will let God have His way or fight it. So as I wait the Lord will strengthen me and keep me.