Opening Up....Well, Trying To.

I had an amazing conversation with my First Lady on Saturday about being single and my frame of mind about the topic. She said she noticed that I closed myself off; and to be honest I had. That is one of the things I love about her, I have known her for over 15 years and she can read me like a book. She's like the big sister I never had...but back to the topic at hand. I have realized that I reached a point where I have cut myself off so that I don't have to deal with any drama. It wasn't intentional at first; it just slowly started.....I just didn't want to be bothered with the drama of being in a relationship. Don't get me wrong, I want to be in one but the RIGHT ONE. And that brings us to why we were having that discussion. I felt that the bad outweighed the good and in a Christian relationship these days, the drama would be too stressful (I came to this conclusion because I was exposed to every one's drama). After talking to her, I realized I was closed off, but my dilemma now is how do I open up? When I made my decision to stay single for One Year I didn't pray about it or seek God's guidance. I just decided that I had enough. Funny thing is the year ends the day after Valentine's Day. LOL, too funny! So I decided to let Jesus take the wheel and stop closing people off (easier said than done). So now that I know this is an issue, I am afraid to see what God will do about it; He seems to be a comedian lately. I guess the issue has come back up because literally ALL of my friends are either married or getting married this year. It doesn’t bother me that I single but I feel like I’m at the point where I might be hindering the next level because I don’t want to go there; pretty selfish right? I don’t want to this and I don’t want to that. The one thing I learn that in CHRISTIAN relationships it’s not about you: it’s about the other person. You must protect their hearts, minds and most important: their salvation. So the question is: does God think I’m ready for such a task?

Fasting From Sex

....Lol, I know what you are thinking: "fasting from sex?" Let me explain. I had the blessing today of coming across a blog about the Blessings of Singleness and it mentioned fasting from food. I started to think about how fasting from sex or abstaining until our season of marriage is like fasting from food. When we fast from food our stomach still grumbles like when we abstain (especially those who have been sexually active before) from sex we still have a desire for it; but we press through it and put it before God because He will give us something better than.......a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger from Wendy's, lol. It had me thinking: when we don't really stress it and approach it on a day-by-day situation and REMIND ourselves everyday that God is more than able (since He is our architect; He made us this way) to handle this and keep us, it gets a little bit easier. I remember when we did the Daniel's Fast how the first week was the hardest, but as each day passed I didn't think about it much. I was focused. If I approach this the same way, knowing some days will be harder and staying in God's word and before Him; it will get easier because He will be giving me the strength. That being said, I want to leave these verses (NIV) to encourage you:

1. Jeremiah 29:11 (My most favorite verse)

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

This verse reminds me that in that hour when it seems darkest and I doubt God; He already has it all mapped out and it will work out fine. All I have to do is follow that path He is leading me down.



2. Galatians 5:16

"So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature."

This verse is pretty much self-explanatory; live by the spirit (a lifestyle that is in the Word and led by God) and you will not gratify the desires that are flesh- based. If you live for God and have a relationship with Him you wouldn't want to grieve Him by following and doing things that you know will break His heart. It like God is your spouse; you wouldn't intentionally do things to strain the relationship and hurt Him, right?



3. 2 Corinthians 4:17

"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all."

This one is the verse that belongs on my mirror so I can see it every morning. It just reminds me that this is nothing; the eternal glory, eternity trumps this little thing.



4. Isaiah 26:3

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."

If you keep your mind on Christ not on who is in a relationship now or getting married while you're still single, blah, blah, blah.....you will be calm and in peace. Trusting God is the hardest thing to do nowadays; we live in a microwave nation and we expect God's time to match ours. But if just let Go and let God because HE DOES KNOW WHAT HE IS DOING we will be in perfect peace. Perfect is a powerful word; it means no faults, errors, nothing. Can we /will we trust God? What would that look like?



5. Psalm 37:4

"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."

I am focusing on the first part of that verse, "delight yourself in the Lord". How can we or what can we do to delight ourselves in the Lord? I can think of one thing: treat Him like your best friend and tell Him everything, look forward to those times when you can speak to Him candidly. Get excited about this wonderful relationship you have with Christ Jesus!!!!!



That being said, I hope I have encouraged others in their season of singlehood; I know I have encouraged myself.





Be blessed!


image source: photo.net Entitled: Alone by Miguel Angel de Arriba Cuadrado

OMGosh!

It has been too long, I know. I was really thinking lately about going forward as a blogger in a sea of bloggers that all want to be a celeb or something..... I came at a conclusion recently: I will continue. I am at a point in my life where I rather share it so others can relate to it and know that they are not alone in their walk.

I have had the pleasure of fellowshipping with NYU's Set Apart Ministry for the past 3 months and have to say that I've been blessed. I'm so sad that it has come to an end, but I have been blessed with wonderful and crazy friends.

Update: I am still sticking to my single for 1 year decision; believe me it has NOT been easy. The fun part is telling people that you actually want to be single and watch their reaction, lol. There are days when I miss being in a relationship but I rather enjoy my season of singleness now so I can appreciate my next season when it comes.

P.S.- Scott Pilgrim .vs. the World is an awesome movie! I am so getting the DVD when it comes out!

After Careful Consideration.......

I decided that I will try and spend the remainder of the year single. And when I mean single that means:
1. No dates
2. No texting
3. No adding a new number to my phone if they are under the impression that something could happen
AND......
4. No flirting

I don't think it will be too hard; I just have to not look at the male species (especially europeans) as objects of hotness. I will just look but not really pay attention! I will keep you updating on this as it progesses.

Anywho.....Today I went dress shopping with Stacey. We found her dress! She looked so beautiful. I finally understand what they mean when they say that you know when you find your dress. She nearly made me cry (nearly).

The Valentine's Day Movie was cute. I actually thought it would suck (I am not a fan of modern day chick-flicks for some reason).

I have to go wash my hair so I talk to you later.