Monday, January 18, 2010

Nail-Biting-Commitment-Phobe ...

This post may look familiar.  Maybe because I did it here?  Well I'm trying again ... that being, trying to rid myself of the acrylics.  Why you ask?  Well, not only is it expensive, bad for your nails and I'm sure, in some way better for the environment (I mean, doesn't everything that's opposite of what you've normally done since before going green was a world-wide phenomenon turn out to be better for the environment?  No?  Just me?)  But the sad MAIN reason is I'M just SUCH A PROCRASTINATOR I can't even make it to get my nails filled.  I know.  Absolutely ridic.  And then what happens when I actually have the time (i.e. am not too lazy to get myself to the NAIL SALON, come on ...) I've not budgeted enough of my weekly budget cash to be able to get them done.  So then, I put it off another week and when I have the $ in the budget, I'm too lazy to get myself there.  I mean seriously Kate, what do you have to do that is SO time consuming and/or tiring that you CAN'T MAKE IT TO GET YOUR NAILS FILLED!?!?  This then becomes a vicious cycle until finally, they get so grown out disgusting that I feel like the ladies with the curly nail acrylics that, in my opinion, should be illegal to have done.  I mean, I have no idea how they even open their car door let alone do something important like, oh I don't know, say, wash your hair or for heavensakes USE THE RESTROOM!?!?  And what if you have to pick your nose (come on, you know you all do it, whether with your finger or a tissue, it has to be taken care of ...) I guess they just use tweezers?  Ick and ack.  Not to mention they've got to have several weeks worth of food, dirt, other people's hair, and/or small animals living underneath them.  SICK OUT.  Please tell me you've seen these long, disgusting nails and know what the hay I'm talking about ...





VOM.MIT.  But let's at least give her props for putting all the players of her favorite basketball team ... or all her baby-daddys ... or all her children ... on her curly nails.  I'm betting she may be a carnie ... But that's neither here nor there.  So, moving right along.  Without further adieu here are my knubby little stems ...





Anyone want to take bets as to how long this will last?  I was going with 45 minutes but it's been 4 days so it looks like I lost ... to myself.  The issue, and you will know if you read my previous post or my oh so appetizing post on peeling, is that I peel the patootie outta my cuticles.  And like I said in that previous post, I have NO idea I'm doing it.  It's so bad that my dad, mom AND mister will all, from time to time, pop me on the hand and I look at them like "WHAT THE H WAS THAT FOR?!?!" when APPARENTLY (according to them) I've been picking the business out of my cuticles for the past 30 minutes/entire movie/whole day (pick one) and not have even KNOWN it.  Unfortunately, (to my dismay since I'm ready and MAYBE a little too excited to pop them back) they have proof when they grab my hand and it's as raw as a piece of tuna sashimi and is looking at me as if to say "What did I ever do to you!?!?!  I feed you, I scratch what needs to be scratched, I wear your promise to your mister oh so beautifully and even let you turn me green with the cheapo rings you buy, and I let you paint me in the face time and time again and what do you do, you RIP ME TO SHREDS!!!"  So, my dear fingers.  I am giving you a break.  Hopefully it's permanent.  But we shall see.  I think the last one lasted all of a month.  Until my fingers hurt so bad I crawled back to the nail salon on my knubs and knees and begged them to give me a full set.  Here's to hoping for a life of acrylic-free nails.

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