Thoughtless Thursday: LATE!

Well Slackers-R-Us here.  I'm SO sorry I didn't get this up sooner today but I was ...

{Snooozzzzziinnnnngggg}

Because, well ...

And I needed it after our smoke/carbon monoxide detector woke me up for the 3rd night in the row at 3am CHIRPING.  I literally almost took a bat after it this time.  But figured that wouldn't be good for my blood pressure ... yeah, probably not.  I haven't taken gotten the pictures of the sono up yet, but wanted to make sure I got this post up so y'all could play along and link up with ...

Feel free to grab my button, post your own random pictures of WHATEVER you like and come back here and link up with McStinky!

Happy Thoughtless Thursday everyone, almost one week down of bedrest, 4 (or more) to go!!!

A Premature Apology ...

So, I'm going to have to go ahead and apologize to y'all for what I can only imagine will be posts o' boringness over the next few weeks.  As exciting as sleeping, making my breakfast, going back to the couch, visiting the porcelain throne, going back to the couch, visiting the porcelain throne, going back to the couch, visiting the procelain ... you get the idea.  As exciting as all that is, I'm THINKING it's not something you'd like to read on a daily basis.  Psshhhhhh, I've fallen asleep 4 times just typing it.  SO, short of taking pictures of myself and/or Koda to amuse you (and myself), updating every 30 minutes in a "status update" type style or giving you play by plays on Koda's sleeping, itching and licking habits, I'm afraid it's going to be a little boring on The Fulmer Lane.  Heaven knows it is at the Fulmer household.

SO, I figured I maybe you could all help me out with some ideas on things to keep me busy over the next 3 to 5 weeks.  I've come up with a list of my own ideas, however I'm not sure they're the best options ...

1.  Whittle lawn ornaments out the bed posts, kitchen cabinets and/or wooden stair posts.

2.  Play tick tack toe/Monopoly/Scrabble/Scattegories ... with Koda.

3.  Teach Koda to speak.

4.  Teach Koda to speak Pig Latin.

5.  Teach Koda to cook (notice the reoccuring pattern of teaching KODA to do things, this being because I'm literally, not allowed to ...)

6.  Become my own professional manicurist/pedicurist.

7.  Become a HSN frequent shopper (the Mister does NOT like this idea)

8.  Become an avid online shopper (again, the Mister = not a fan)

9.  Watch every episode of A Baby Story, Deliver Me: Home Edition and Bringing Home Baby made.  EVER.

10.  Eat all the contents of my pantry.

11.  Master sleeping almost as well as a Narcoleptic.

And that's all I've got so far.  Like I said, any and all suggestions are welcome.  Please don't get me wrong, I am incredibly thankful that baby and I are healthy and doing well and thankful that my amazing OB and her nurses caught this issue before it became serious.  I'm just dealing with the idea of not being able to get done all the things that need to be done before little man gets here.  And I'm getting there, but it's still hard to MAKE yourself sit still, limit your trips up and down the stairs and listen to your husband when he says "TAKE. IT. EASY." but that may be more because I'm stubborn than anything.

Hopefully I've not already bored you all to death on my first of many boredom-filled posts.  Now, time to go visit the porcelain throne ... or who knows I might get a little crazy.  I MIGHT just take a nap first.

Little Man's Bathroom ...

Morning loves!  Well, I'm sitting here, becoming a pro at watching TV blogging, something I think might become my new morning gig.  It's taken a few mornings to get used to not hopping out of bed, loading the pup up in the car, going to Einstein's and Starbucks and starting the routine of my "normal day" that I've been doing for the past 4 months.  But I'm sure I'll start another routine here before long and forget what it was like before I went on bedrest.  Thank y'all again for your sweet comments, I SO appreciate them!!!

We had a GREAT appointment yesterday with my OBGYN, but I'll tell you more about that on Thursday for Thoughtless Thursday along with pictures of our little (BIG - he was measuring 5 lbs 13 oz and at 36 weeks yesterday!) man.  For now I'll show you some pictures of the baby-fied guest bathroom that will C's when he gets here.  I found everything on target.com and was SO EXCITED when I saw how perfectly it matches his bedroom.

Aren't the colors just PERFECT?  Thank you Tarjay.  And that little mural is the first Disney quote I painted.  I just wasn'tsomuch a fan of the way the letters turned out, SO, where better for it to go than his bathroom!!!

Okay, back to TV watching and more TV watching.  Speaking of TV watching, anyone a Dancing With the Stars fan?  And if you are, do you LOVE this couple (and by couple, I mean Kyle Massey) as much as I do!?!?!

I mean, could this kid BE any cuter!?!?  He has SUCH personality and is so adorable I think I kinda have a crush on this chubby 19 year old Disney Channel star!!!  Anybody else?  No, just me?  Anyways, I am SO pulling for them, I feel sure they'll make it through tonight.  I'm thinking Mrs. Brady will be going home.  Again, is it JUST me or does watching her dance creep anyone else out ... ?  Again, just maybe it's just me.

I hope you all have terrific Tuesdays!!!

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jog ...

Well hello loverlies!  First of all, thank you ALL for your sweet, kind words on Friday.  Every single comment that popped up on my phone not only made my day, but helped to pass the day as well.  There was a few more unexpected happenings after the last time I posted.  First was as I was gearing up to hopefully get news that I was leaving the hospital (WHICH, bytheway, I had THE best nurses and care I could've imagined) I all the sudden remembered my mother in law, who was babysitting her first grandchild Koda bear for the Mister and I while I was in the hospital and he was in Chicago (Did I mention he was out of town when all this was going on?  Probably not because I usually don't do that when he's actually gone.  Poor guy - calls me while I'm supposed to be at a routine doc's appointment, his mother in law picks up and goes into everything that's going on from me being admitted to my high blood pressure, etc and so on), was not reminded to shut all the bedroom doors to our house before she left leaving the baby's room completely open and exposed to a good old fashioned ransacking by a large, white labrador who seems to think all of the baby's toys are to be shared with none other than himself.  He IS the big brother of course!  So in freaking out about this, my mom arrives at the hospital hoping for the same news I am and the nurse comes in to take my BP, which I'm almost positive was sky high due to my freak outage.  Another one of those "just my luck" instances.  SO, as a result, the on-call doctor desides I better stay again, overnight.  FOO-EY!  Thankfully they DID move me to another room with a way WAY more comfortable bed (Seriously, I almost asked if I could take this one home) and by the time I was settled in, had showered and straightened my hair, the Mister was there to keep me company.  And low and behold, RIGHT after he got there, my BP was better than it had been the entire time.  My mom called shortly after and she was right, I just needed my boy there.  He stayed with me until we were both ready for bed and I sent him home so we wouldn't have to find something to do with Koda for the night.  NOW, for a story that you won't believe ...

Part of monitoring my BP is taking it every 4 hours, which means they have to wake me up once or twice during the night, depending on when I went to sleep.  The first time they woke me up I fell right back asleep, no big deal.  The SECOND time was another story.  A nurse comes in my room and tells me that my previous nurse has gone home and was off her shift.  She then walks over to me with a tiny baggie and says "Okay, I'm just going to insert this into your {insert word for female part starting with a V}" and I look at her, very calmly and say "You're going to WHO WHAT WHERE now?!?!" and she said "The nurse has ordered you some pain meds so you can have those when you want them." and I reply "What exactly is that for?" while at the same time thinking ("And why the H are you putting it where the sun don't shine?!?!) and she looks at me and says "Well, it will cause your cervix to open and your uterus to contract."  Ahem.  I'm sorry WHAT?!?!  There will be no opening of my cervix or contracting of my uterus, unless in some way shape or form you can lower my blood pressure by way of that method ...  She then says "Oh and you can have your epidural whenever you feel you need it."  My WHAT?!?  Correct me if I'm wrong but I have several weeks before the "E" word involving the gigantic needle comes into play!?!?  I finally stutter a reply, something that I'm pretty sure was a cross between English and Pig Latin, along the lines of "That's not going to put me into LABOR is it?" and she looks at my like I'm a complete moron and says "Oh, yes of course." to which I not so calmly reply "But I'm ONLY 34 weeks!  I'm just here for blood pressure monitoring!"  And finally, she gets it.  A look of horror and embarassment crosses over her face and she says "What's your name?" "atie-Kay ulmer-Fay." now completely dumbfounded.  To which she then asks "This IS room 22 right?" to which I nod my head wide-eyed and jaw dropped and she says "Oh my gosh they told me the wrong room!"  I'm still blankly staring at her, now thinking "Now would be my luck that she decides to take my blood pressure because I'm so freaked out that I was almost put into LABOR that it's probably 8000/7000."  However, she just looked at me, apologized profusely and told me she'd woken me up for no reason and to go back to sleep.  Easier said than done lady.  GO BACK TO SLEEP!?!?  You almost inserted something into my ... personal space ... and caused me to become a mommy WAY sooner than I was supposed to.  GO BACK TO SLEEP!?!?  Right.  I'll get on that.  Good luck.  Much to my surprise, I managed to get a few more hours in to which I woke up to my darling Mister with a bagel and Starbucks for me in hand.  Thankfully, after my Starbucks and bagel, some time with the Mister and an episode or two of Dawson's Creek to calm me down, my doctor came in and said my last few readings look good and on that note, I can go home but on strict bedrest.  Needless to say I (and the Mister) was THRILLED.  It took all the energy in me not to jump up and down (don't want to raise the BP of course) and do cartwheels when I got the go ahead.  However now I'm on strict orders to basically do. nothing.  And by nothing, I MEAN nothing.  I can go from the bed to the couch and have to limit my trips up and down the stairs to once, maybe twice a day.  This will either be until little man gets here or until I can consistently keep my blood pressure in the 120s/80s.  The nurses made it sound like when pregnant women develop this problem (the technical term for it is Pregnancy Induced Hypertension) that more than likely they have to deliver early.  Either by induction or the baby comes early on their own.  I am thankful it's not full blown preclampsia (which happens when you have a level over 300 of protein in your urine, which I didn't, or elevated levels in your bloodwork, which I didn't) and we're just dealing with watching the BP levels.  We have another sono tomorrow so if y'all think about it, say a little prayer around 3PM today for good news regarding the BP/bedrest/etc.

For NOW I'm going back to what I've been doing best, laying around, doing nothing and watching a lot, and I mean A LOT of TV.  Thanks again for all your thoughts and prayers!  Y'all are da bomb dot com!  Yes I just said that on purpose.

I hope your weekends were all great!

Cosmo-Licious

I read an article on a plane recently that made me laugh so much I almost peed me pants, and so loudly the whole plane was wondering what was going on. It was 100 Crazy, Dirty Sex Questions (Answeed in 20 Words or Less) in October's Cosmopolitan.

Some of the questions I actually found interesting, and some were so retarded I can't even handle that people would ask them. Please allow me to share some of the goodies, and my smart ass answers.

1. Could frequesnt shrinking-say due to cold water-cause a penis to become smaller permanantly? Really? REALLY?

8. Is there a suble way to spit out semen after oral sex? Run to the bathroom gagging. They LOVE that.

12. If you're pregnant can the man's penis hit the baby during sex? According to my hero, Carrie Bradshaw, that's where dimples come from.

18. Why is semen so gooey? So your pearl necklace lasts longer.

22. What's the smallest penis ever recorded? They said It's five-eighths of an inch. Poor, poor guy.

27. Is it ok to use an electric toothbrush as a vibrator? Damn, they said no. As a hygienist I could have made a fortune selling these as double-duty!

36. Is it life-threatening for a guy to blow air up your vadge while going down on you, or is that an urban legend? Ok, apparently this one is actually true, it could cause a fatal embolism. Although I have no idea why a guy would do that. They like queefs?

40. What happens if semen gets in my eye? Can I go blind? No, it just gives you magical x-ray vision.

42. He wants me to give his butt hole oral attention. Is that sanitary? That's where poo poo comes from. You tell me!

47. My guy and I have sex frequently, and he always comes inside me. Is it possible to have too much sperm in my vagina? Your mom told me, no.

57. I have braces on my teeth. Can I still go down on a guy? Have you seen the 14-year old whores around lately. Obvs the answer is YES!

67. My guy had a third nipple. Is it as sensitive as his other two? Now it's just getting weird.

83. My partner asked if he could ejaculate onto my face. Why would he want to do that? Lemme guess, you're the same one who asked about the cum in the eye?

94. Is it normal to cry after sex? If it's that bad, dump him darling!

Hope you enjoyed these gems just as much as I did!

Wedding in Harrison

The girlfriend whose stagette I went to recently in Jasper got married this summer. I brought my friend Nick, aka my go-to-date-guy as my, you guessed it, date, because I knew he would be a tonne of fun.

The morning started early when I picked the bride's friend and her fiance up from the airport in Abbotsford. The bride had thought they were getting in the day before and sent her dad to the airport to grab them... oops! So I stepped up to do the shuttle gig. We made a quick stop at Winners to grab a belt and a wedding card.

Once we got home we had some breakie, then had some time to chill so we played a few rounds of "Buzz" the quiz show game for Playstation. For those who have never played, it's crazy fun. Unless you suck, then it's no good. We got a little carried away, then had to rush to get dressed. We left super early to get out to Chilliwack on time, but as it was we were super early.

The wedding ceremony was short and sweet, and we headed out to Harrison Hot Springs where the reception was to be held, and started pre-drinking in our rooms.

A little later we headed down for the reception. It was definitely an interesting mix of people. The groom used to be into some not-so-wonderful things back in the day, and you could definitely tell whose side was whose. The bride's girls were kinda staight and narrow, but fun, while the other side consisted of guys whose occupation we'll define as "self-employed entrepreneurs" and their fake-boobed, short-dressed girlfriends.

The food was average... strangely enough the buffet had been set up in reverse order... entrees first, buns and salads last. The DJ was horrendous. He played way too many slow songs, and didn't even know who any of the artists were that we were requesting. He didn't even know Jagged Edge - Let's Get Married! I mean, come ON! She had told him we wanted to hear the tunes that were popular around 2003-2004 when we started clubbing, and he just was clueless.

Of course we made the wedding fun anyways. It's always great to see one of your friends happy and settled down... and the twixer of Vokda in our room didn't hurt either.

The next morning I woke up hangover free and let Nick convince me to take a ride on his Harley. I'm not a bike person at all, but I have to admit, it's nice. More street-bike looking than leather-clad guy with a beard. The only problem was it wasn't heavy enough to press the line that opens the garage door in the undergorund parking. We had to squeeze out behind someone else. And then I took a ride. One whole block. We went to sushi where the waitress offered me a fork. What a weekend.

It's My Party and I'll Cancel it if I Have High Blood Pressure ...

WELLLLLLL.  Good morning lovelies!  Can I just say what a difference a day makes?  This time yesterday I was heading out to take Koda to get groomed, to meet a friend for breakfast and run errands for my Halloween Girl's Night party last night and just be all around, well, busy.  Because busy-ness makes the days fly by which makes little man's arrival come faster!  Or so I thought ...

At about 2:30 pm yesterday, while waiting for Koda to be finished at the groomers, I decided it was time to get some lunch.  After paying at Subway I get a call from my mom and she asks me what I'm doing.  I told her I was just about to sit down to lunch and she said "Are you not at your doctors appointment?" to which I reply "Appointment?  OH!  Shoot, what time is it!?!" to which SHE replies "2:30." to which I reply "CRAP!  I totally forgot!!!"  I immediately go into a panic, I have food in the car for my party, Koda is at the groomers and I'm 15 minutes away from my doctor's office and then, for some reason, immediately turn into a mindless pregnant woman (although this is debateable whether not I already was a mindless pregnant woman given the fact that I forgot my appointment ...) and start driving in circles all the sudden COMPLETELY forgetting exactly where my doctor's office is located (as well as my brain) and borderline having a panic attack.  After finally calming down, calling Petco to see if they could keep Koda a little longer and calling the doc's office and letting them know that I was running a bit late, I got myself together and drove myself to my OB's office.  I asked my mom to come to this appointment because the Mister was out of town and thank goodness I did.  My blood pressure was at 140/100 (which apparently they don't like around here) so we figured it was due to my previous freak outage and told me to calm myself and they'd take it again.  After waiting a bit they took my BP again only to see it was still high and Dr. Licker (yes, that's my OB's name, she is darling and precious but the name is hard to not snicker at especially given her chosen medical field) decided that I needed to head to Labor & Delivery to have my blood pressure and the baby evaluated.  She originally said I'd be there for 2 or so hours.  Of course I immediately thought "What about Koda!?!?  Who's going to pick him up!?!" but after a quick phone call to the new Petco we're taking Koda to (which I LOVE bytheway, I think I forgot to tell y'all about the previous Petco we were taking Koda to and the issue we had the last time I picked him up, that'll be another post) they said he was fine and content in his kennel with a big bowl of water and they'd keep him until I was able to come get him.  SO, after an hour or so of monitoring my BP, the baby and doing some blood work they decided to keep me overnight.  To which I again freaked out about Koda's well-being but my MIL came to the rescue, picked him up and kept him overnight for a sleepover at Memaw's and Pepaw's house.

The good news is my blood work looks great, the baby's heartbeat and movement is perfect and my blood pressure was great throughout the night.  The bad news is my evening consisted of the following ...

{Sexy backless gown.  Ow ow.}

{Helium inflated feet.  Again, oh so sexy.}

{Hot new bangle bracelet ...}

Unfortunately as of this morning my BP's up a bit from what it was in the night.  SO, what does that mean?  Well Dr. Licker said it means bed rest for now.  And by bed rest she means getting up to use the restroom, make myself lunch and that's about it.  Unless we can get my levels to stay in the 120s/80s range steadily, then she'll reevaluate my activity restrictions.

My overnight stay also meant another thing.  I had to cancel my Halloween Girl's Night last night very last minute.  I was SO sad as I had just bought all the supplies and snacks I needed for the evening.  I DID make a floor of nurses VERY happy with the bag of Halloween-themed cookies and cupcakes that I gave them!  SO, since I wasn't able to post pictures from this year I figured I'd post a few from the fun we had last year.  I'm hoping to maybe be able to reschedule, we'll see if my BP cooperates.

Good times were had as I'm sure they would've been this year.  But don't worry, if it doesn't get rescheduled this year it will be done up right NEXT year!  With a cute little man in costume to help me host!

I hope y'all have great weekends and while you're out running around, think of me marooned on the couch all weekend long ...