WTF??!!

Man Fined for Buckling in Beer, Leaving Kid Loose
Police "shocked and appalled" after Australian leaves 5-year-old on car floor

Associated Press
Updated 5:58 a.m. PT, Tues., May. 13, 2008

DARWIN, Australia - An Australian man has been fined after buckling in a case of beer with a seat belt but leaving a 5-year-old child to sit on the car’s floor, police said Tuesday.

Constable Wayne Burnett said he was “shocked and appalled” when he pulled over the unregistered car Friday in the central Australian town of Alice Springs.

The 30-can beer case was strapped in between two adults sitting in the back seat of the car. The child was also in back, but on the car’s floor.

“The child was sitting in the lump in the center, unrestrained,” Burnett told reporters Tuesday.

“I haven’t ever seen something like this before,” he said. “This is the first time that the beer has taken priority over a child.”

The driver was fined 750 Australian dollars — about $710 — for driving an unregistered and uninsured vehicle and for failing to ensure a child was wearing a safety belt.

balance

When I was driving home on Friday this guy in the HOV gave me the wink, nod and smile.

Guess that balances out tongue-sticking-out kid!

nyah-nyah

Yesterday when I was driving home this kid stuck his head out the window of the car his mom was driving and stuck his tongue out at me.

Thanks kid. As if my life wasn't sad enough right now.

The Mission

So, Jaelene gave me a mission (should I choose to accept it.) It's Jaelene and Danielle's summer mission of finding boyfriends.

This is how it works: since we haven't met the best guys so far, we need to go where the good ones are. Downtown in nice restaurants. Where they wear suits and have good jobs and money. Most importantly... they AREN'T bartenders!!!

First mission should be Friday the 30th. I'll keep you posted.

JT No Mo

It dawned on me that I haven't updated everyone on the JT situation. I have a bit of new info since last time. I had pretty much given up on him and his no phone calls... but then a few things happened that made me wonder:

I went to the club one night with some friends, and he happened to be working, so I went to the bar and said hi. Then he grabbed me over the bar and kissed me right on the lips in front of everyone! I was kind of stunned... in a good way... and started to get my hopes up again...But then STILL no call from him. I was confused!

Then my friend who introduced us had a lil talk with JT. He mentioned to her that he thought I might be mad at him, since he made me wait for a while the last time we had hung out, and that I had left the club without saying goodbye. I thought it all might be a misunderstanding, didn't want him thinking I was mad at him, and wanted to give him another chance. I'm not always the best with words, so I wrote him a long message on Facebook. Here it is:

Hey you... I thought I'd write you because I just need to get this off my mind. I had a lil chat with [my friend] the other day and there were a few things I just wanted to clear up with you.

I told you before that I don't really understand you... and honestly, that still stands. I just feel like I get such mixed messages and I don't know if you like me or not... so after not hearing from you for a while I just kinda gave up.

I was never mad at you for making me wait that night. Like I'd be mad at someone for making me wait while they visit their friend in the hospital!

So I called you a few days later and we talked for a bit, but then you had to go. Which was how it was every time I called. So I decided I'd just let you call me instead... and you didn't.

I was going to give up... but then my parents left town so I threw one more text out there, something like "What are you doing weds night? Wanna come over?" and heard nothing back. That's about all the rejection I can take so at that point I pretty much assumed you weren't interested.

When I saw you at the club I was pleasantly surprised when you grabbed me and kissed me over the bar. I was like "Ok he just kissed me in public... that's gotta mean something!" I left without saying goodbye 'cause I didn't feel well and took off. But then I STILL never heard from you.

I didn't want to be crazy stalker girl who keeps bothering a guy who doesn't care so I stopped calling. I know that you are busy, but it takes 30 secs to throw a text out there just to say hi. I don't expect a lot.

Part of this was my mistake for playing games and seeing how long it would take you to call. I've come to the realization that I'm fooling myself when I try to play it cool, because I'm not nonchalant, I'm kind of intense. That's just me. I just wanted you to know where I'm coming from, and that I'm not mad at you.

If you wanna talk or hang out or whatever I'd love to hear from you... And hear what you think about this long-ass letter I just wrote. If not I'm sure I'll see you around.

xoxo Danielle

I thought it was pretty good and I said everything I needed to say.

He didn't reply.

I'm probably going to see him Saturday night when I'm out for my friend's birthday party. We'll see how that is. Maybe I'll make out with another guy in front of him. Just an idea :)

Jayme Jayme Bo Bayme Banana Fanna Fo Fayme

According to my sister one of my most loyal readers, Ms. Jayme Bubel, thought that I should pay homage to her for all the time and effort she's put in keeping up with my crazy-ass love life. Well here it is.

I was thinking about what I should say about Jayme, but her life is pretty much as boring as my sister's... except she went to Europe and hung around with a lotta gay dudes, which was pretty cool. I made use of Google Image to search for "Jayme" instead and put together a little tribute hopefully she will enjoy.

Here it is: The Totally Untrue History of Jayme Bubel:

Mere weeks after being born, Jayme's overbearing stage mother forced her into the pagent circuit where she went on to win the title of "Miss Gorilla Vacuum Shop Abbotsford" in the years 1995 through 2008. After years of dressing up as Minnie Mouse and the Care Bears though, Jayme felt that she needed to rebel. She became a porn star instead. What is she doing with those cupcakes?

Jayme's porn career ended quickly however, when she got into a car accident onher way to pole dancing class and woke up as a pomeranian.

She had one thing to say: "Rufff.... Arrrr.... Yelp... Yelppp!" which roughly translates into "Get me out of this #$%$%$ dog body! I'm trapped! Heeeelllllp!!"

Jayme's friends knew where to turn. To Jesus Mushroom Guy. He gave Jayme some of his "special" mushrooms and she turned back into a human from a dog. With one difference though: She was a 13-year-old Jew. As a Jew she had lots of money, so she immediately headed to South Beach to celebrate her becoming a woman in a Bat Mitzvah ceremony. Oy Veh!

Fast forward a few years and she got married to a cute guy whose name also happened to be Jayme. Who knew?

The End!

PS. Please check out Jayme's IMDB site. She needs some star power people! http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2665833/filmotype

A comic genious... and cute?

No people, I'm not talking about myself! But thanks for thinking of me!

I'm talking about Seth McFarlane, creator of Family Guy... The best cartoon ever. (Well it's tied with The Little Mermaid.)

Nicole was watching Extra the other day and he was on there doing an interview. I had expected him to look kinda Peter Griffin-esque... But he's actually pretty cute!

However, she did point out that he does bear a slight resemblance to Christopher Knight aka Peter Brady.

Hey Seth... If you see this... Call me!