Friday, January 18, 2008

fish in the sea

Sometimes when I'm bored I look at guys on http://www.plentyoffish.com/. I don't have a profile, so I can't talk to them... I just cruise. Sometimes I see people I know... It makes me smile.

I had a profile for a bit, but it just got to be a game for me: "How many guys' favourites lists will I be on now?" Then I would talk to them for a while via the mail there, and then when they wanted to meet up I bailed. I don't know why.

School Schmool

School update:

I am officially cleaning real people's teeth and giving local anaesthetic needles to people! Scary I know! I also did really well on all my midterms.

That is all.

losing my mind

So you know what I did? Like a week ago I changed my age on my little blurb in here to 24.

I am almost 24, but when I did it I honestly thought I WAS 24. Then I was wondering why the age part still said I was 23, even though it's calculated based on my birthdate. I was like "This thing doesn't work... I'm 24!"

What the hell?

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Another Theory

I haven't talked to Rooster's guy in like two weeks now. We hung out over the Christmas holidays and had a lot of fun... and then he called me the next day, said he was going to the island for the night and would call me when he got back... and I haven't heard from him since. I called him on New Years to say hi and it went straight to voicemail. Three days later I tried again and same thing. That's my limit. Maybe he's dead?

My friend at school has a theory... My Pussy is cursed. Thanks Cece!

Sunday, January 6, 2008

My Jesus Theory

ATTENTION: Before you read this post you need to go into it with an open mind. If you already saw the word Jesus and thought to yourself: "Now what is that heathen going to say about my friend J-dawg?" Then you should probably just stop now.

I have a bit of a conundrum... and I HONESTLY would like someone to give me some answers. Comments people, comments! (Please... Luvs ya!)

The Jesus Theory

According to the bible Jesus was born because God impregnated Mary in an immaculate conception. The family Jesus was born into was Mary and Joseph, who were a nice married couple... Or were they? For a marriage to be upheld the marriage needs to be consummated. Well, if Mary was a virgin then she obviously had NOT done it with Joseph... Therefore they were not actually married. So, if Jesus was born to an unmarried couple then what does that make him? GASP!!!! A bastard.

I'm sorry... but that's the lesser of two evils at this point... There's more... (You can still stop reading if you want... you aren't gonna like this!)

You don't want to believe Jesus is a bastard right? Who would want to think that? So let's work things out to say that he isn't. Well... if Jesus isn't a bastard then his parents would have had to be married. Therefore Joseph and Mary did it. Probably many times. They consummated the heck out of their marriage. (Did they have honeymoons back then?) So... one of those squirmy little Joseph spermies made it to one of Mary's holy eggs... And a baby was created. A regular 'ol joe baby who was born 9 months later in a manger. So the theory of Jesus being the son of God who came to earth to save us all is wrong... And therefore Christianity is based on something that isn't true.

So... which is it?

Cream... Stat

Ok... only the girls will appreciate the humour of this one... Guys stop reading right NOW.

The other day I went out for dinner with a girlfriend of mine. We went to this really cool sushi place on Broadway called "The Eatery." The place is not like a normal Asian sushi place, it has dim lighting and music and big paper mache monsters on the ceiling. Also the sush is pretty good too. They take rolls and them fry the whole thing in tempura and it's really yummy.

Anyhoo... My friend had "borrowed" (aka taken without asking and returned) a purse from her friend. She was digging around in the bottom of it... and what does she pull out??... One of those little tubies of Monistat anti-itch cream! I was laughing so hard I almost peed myself.

Needless to say she wasn't eating any gum from that purse anytime soon!

really

Now that I've finished my last 3 midterms I am officially allowed to have a life again. That didn't stop me from staying home both nights this weekend... But I honestly like just lying around watching Sex and the City for hours ok?

School runs my life.

Tonight Nicole yelled at me because I use up all the paper and ink from the printer. She told me that it was a "bitchy thing to do." Really Nicole? REALLY??

Yup... I do it on purpose just to fuck you over. I REALLY enjoy printing out pages and pages to study. The more the merrier... really... I do it on purpose just to piss you off.

Oh and I like to ask my teachers for extra assignments too. Minimum twelve page papers... the longer the better... Just so I can have the satisfaction of personally using up all the ink and paper.

Come on!
 

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