Finally Updates!

Helloooo people! I know it has been 2 weeks or so since my last post, but it has been 2 weeks of hellish studying and writing final exams for me. 'Nuff said. Just because I haven't been putting my thoughs out there, doesn't mean I haven't been thinking of stuff to write, so I have a little update of mini's for you:

- The other day on the Beat there was an ad for Urban Body Laser, saying that if you came in to get a Brazilian you could get your "Bunny Tail" done for free. Well that's a nice way of putting it... I prefer hairy ass crack, but to each their own.

- Also on the Radio I heard that DJ Jazzy Jeff is coming to town to do a concert. That guy is still alive? Who knew?

- Oh, and speaking of The Fresh Prince... One of the girls on this season of "America's Next Top Model" looks like Will Smith's twin. At least she's better looking than a girl who was on a few seasons ago that looked like "Miss Jay."

- I just finished reading the worst book ever. It's called "Tidal Wave" and it's one of the many "dirty" novels my mom gave me a garbage bag filled with to read when I was bored. Anyways it's too bad for words. Good thing I read the whole thing. Why can't I be a quitter?

- I SERIOUSLY put my foot in my mouth the other day: I was telling this guy how I am scared shitless of semi trucks because I am sure that is how I am going to die... And he was like "Well they know what they are doing," and I'm like, "Yeah right they do! They are the worst!" ... Then he tells me about how his uncle and dad drove semis... His dad who passed away 5 years ago. Way to go Danielle! Insult someone's dead father!

Bridges... Grrr

I had school at 1:00 today, and I had some extra reading to do so I left home at 11:45...I got to school at 2:20....It SUCKED!!!

There was a huge accident on the Port Mann bridge, so Highway 1 was completely blocked off at the 104/160th street exit and traffic was diverted into Surrey. My only other option was to take the Patullo... So then I sat in traffic on the King George... forever.

Also, I had to pee SO BAD. I was praying for a gas station, but alas, there were none in sight. Finally I saw a Chevron... Peeing has never felt so good.

I got back on the road and once I hit the bridge traffic wasn't too bad.

Please people... DRIVE CAREFULLY. If not for your own sake, then for the sake of the hundreds of people who have to be hours late for school because you drive like an ass.

z z z zoooser

My parents got back from their Mediterranean (spelling?) trip a few weeks ago, and yesterday my sister and I received the postcards they had sent while they were in Egypt. Here is the one I got:

See what is says? ZOSER. Yes, my parents think I'm a Zoser. I'm a big Zucking Zoser!

My New Favourite Car

Just in case any of you happen to win the lottery soon and decide to buy me a car... This is the one I want: a BMW 2007 650i Cabriolet. Look at it... It's just be-a-u-tiful!

Look at its beautiful front:Look at its beautiful ass: Look at it's beautiful guts:How hot would I be in that car? LOVE IT!

What I Remember...

Well people, Danielle tied one on Saturday night. I mean, I was DRUNK!

After I dropped my parents off at home from their trip I busted my bum to get ready and headed out to Vancouver to meet up with some girlfriends from school. I told them to have a nice, strong drink ready for me.

Well when I got there, I drank it... All 4 shots of it... And another martini... And had some sips of Smirnoff Ice.

We headed to the club, but the lineup at Republic was a little crazy, so we headed to old faithful, aka the Stone Temple. Once there I had a shooter and another drink. This is where things get hazy.

I do recall the bartender letting me behind the bar... Where I proceeded to tell him that we had fooled around before, which was true, but it was a long time ago and he didn't even remember. Embarassing much? OUCH! But I mean he is a bartender so I'm sure he takes a LOT of girls home. Also at the bar I apparently grabbed Jae's ex bf's drink (straight up Vodka) and dumped it into my drink. Luckily they saw and she took it away from me.

I remember puking in the bathroom and Jaelene taking me home, where I puked more. A LOT mroe. She took my bra off so I would be more comfy, and apparently I was squirming around and giggling and said "Ooh, I've never had a GIRL take my bra off before!" and she got me some sweatpants. Then she tucked me in to the comfiest bed ever.

(ASIDE: Shit... I just remembered the water I put on the stove to make myself some KD has probably been sitting there boiling for like 10 mins.)

I woke up to a major headache, and the news that my Papa had passed away the night before. Sad, I know. It was expected though, and honestly I'm not supremely upset about it or anything. I almost feel like I should be more upset, but he had Alzheimers and Dementia anyways and hadn't recognized me for a while. That is life I guess.

Mother Mary

So a few mornings lately I have felt kinda nauseous... And my boobs have been strangely sore. I know what you are thinking.... She's preggo!

Well if I am it would have had to been an immaculate conception... So I have been thinking of names for the new little one.

I think Jesus Jr has a nice ring to it, but it might be kinda obvious. What about Godfrey? You know, after his papa... But what if it's a girl... Jesusina?

Oh wait, I know... Sister Mary Clarence. Maybe she'll come out with dreads.... That would be cool!

Do Your Exercises!

This is very strange:

I was sitting at the airport, waiting for my parents to arrive from London when I came across a "Hedonics" catalogue. It's just a catalogue full of various cool or helpful stuff you can order and I was flipping through it as I waited.

I turn to page 42... and what do I see? Well an Adjustible KEGEL Exerciser.... That's what! It is pretty much a miniature thigh master that you stick in your coochie to strengthen the coochie muscles.

The kicker is that it costs 50 bucks! I'd rather just get tight by not being a whore, thanks!

Anyways, I had doubts people would believe me... So I scanned it. Take a look... And don't forget to do your exerces... I'm doing mine right now ;)