As I prepare to start school and get on with my career and my life (and eventually "baby chick" will leave the nest) I have been doing a lot of thinking.
My whole life people have had certain expectations of me. I'm supposed to be the smartest and work the hardest; I'm supposed to want certain things and not others; I'm supposed to be the career woman, who is focused and strong and doesn't break down... I'm never supposed to fail, so when I do people are more dissapointed (myself included.) Those are hard expectations to live upto.
The other day I was having a conversation with my mom about boys. She said to me, " You don't need to worry about marriage... you have your career to focus on...you only need to have fun right now."
It feels like half the people I know are married, or getting married, or living together, or having babies... and I am left in their dust and expected to feel fine about it because I am career-focused. Well, maybe that's not enough.
Not right away, but I DO want that... I want to get married... I want babies... I want someone to love. I don't want people telling me that it's ok that I don't have these because I have a career. That almost makes it worse... they are comforting me. The fact that they feel like they need to comfort me proves that they feel bad or think something is wrong with it.
And I want people to see my sensitive side. The side that can't say goodbye, and loves to cuddle, and cried on the series finale of Gilmore Girls.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Monday, May 14, 2007
bow-chica-bow-wow
(No, my weekend had nothing to do with porn in case you were getting excited...I just needed a title.)
Friday night after work Elise came and picked me up and we went to watch her friend Danielle (aka Danielle #2) play softball. They got creamed... 20 to 5 ... I got a free beer though, so that helped ease the pain. There was this old drunk red-eyed grandpa there, and I guarantee it wasn't coffee in his Timmie's mug. The ump's son was there too and he was this total cave-boy who stood there banging stones together for a good 45 minutes... Then he started smelling them. Kids are weird.
After the game a the group of us went to Sammy's for a bit. Elise talked about poo the whole time... oh and skidmarks... great. She was completely sober too, that's just Elise. Bartender Boy was there and our waitress told me she thought he was hot... Yeah I know.
Saturday I woke up at the crack of dawn (aka 6:30) and headed into A-town for a photoshoot. I got my hair done in an updo and my makeup airbrushed on. I was so pampered! Then we all took pictures for a girl's website wearing samples from her jewellery line. It was pretty high-tech... we sat on an exercise ball in front of a sheet tacked to the roof. The girl taking the pics told me that I was good at posing and asked if I had ever modeled before. No, I've just watched every season of ANTM.
Saturday night I partied it up at the Vanilla Room with Jaelene. I was apprehensive about going there again but it was ok; I made nice with the bouncer. It was a fun night. I was making friends with a lot of random girls, which is a nice change from the bitches at the downtown clubs. In the bathroom a girl puked on the floor and a drop got on my foot. It was pretty sick but another gave me some spray-on hand sanitizer and I coated my foot with it.
At one point while Jae was off dancing I was just chilling on the couch, resting my feet (my shoes are f-ing CUTE, but hurt like a bitch) this guy was hitting on me. He pretty much used the best line ever: "Hi, my name is ____ and I believe in at least 20 minutes of foreplay before sex and at least 20 minutes of cuddling after." Points for originality there buddy!
I, of course, spent Mother's Day with my mom. She made me and my sister do some slave labour. As we were outside weeding the garden a little kid came by on her scooter and asked my sister what she was doing. "I'm helping my mom weed the garden because it's Mother's Day," she replied... to which the girl exclaimed, "It's my Mom's birthday too!" Kids.
Friday night after work Elise came and picked me up and we went to watch her friend Danielle (aka Danielle #2) play softball. They got creamed... 20 to 5 ... I got a free beer though, so that helped ease the pain. There was this old drunk red-eyed grandpa there, and I guarantee it wasn't coffee in his Timmie's mug. The ump's son was there too and he was this total cave-boy who stood there banging stones together for a good 45 minutes... Then he started smelling them. Kids are weird.
After the game a the group of us went to Sammy's for a bit. Elise talked about poo the whole time... oh and skidmarks... great. She was completely sober too, that's just Elise. Bartender Boy was there and our waitress told me she thought he was hot... Yeah I know.
Saturday I woke up at the crack of dawn (aka 6:30) and headed into A-town for a photoshoot. I got my hair done in an updo and my makeup airbrushed on. I was so pampered! Then we all took pictures for a girl's website wearing samples from her jewellery line. It was pretty high-tech... we sat on an exercise ball in front of a sheet tacked to the roof. The girl taking the pics told me that I was good at posing and asked if I had ever modeled before. No, I've just watched every season of ANTM.
Saturday night I partied it up at the Vanilla Room with Jaelene. I was apprehensive about going there again but it was ok; I made nice with the bouncer. It was a fun night. I was making friends with a lot of random girls, which is a nice change from the bitches at the downtown clubs. In the bathroom a girl puked on the floor and a drop got on my foot. It was pretty sick but another gave me some spray-on hand sanitizer and I coated my foot with it.
At one point while Jae was off dancing I was just chilling on the couch, resting my feet (my shoes are f-ing CUTE, but hurt like a bitch) this guy was hitting on me. He pretty much used the best line ever: "Hi, my name is ____ and I believe in at least 20 minutes of foreplay before sex and at least 20 minutes of cuddling after." Points for originality there buddy!
I, of course, spent Mother's Day with my mom. She made me and my sister do some slave labour. As we were outside weeding the garden a little kid came by on her scooter and asked my sister what she was doing. "I'm helping my mom weed the garden because it's Mother's Day," she replied... to which the girl exclaimed, "It's my Mom's birthday too!" Kids.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Homeless D
Well I officially have no office at work. We are getting a new co-op student, who is moving into this lady's office, who is moving into mine, and I am squatting in Prettie's office while she is in Europe. Oh well. At lest I have my Pyatt poster in here so it's ok... And I get to use her radio because I threw away my shitty free The Beat radio.
I am also doing Prettie's work while she is away and it's going ok so far. I did a Tender Package all by myself the other day! Yay - Go Immunohisochemistry Stainer!
Today while I was walking to the Field Office these workers were looking at me and talking abut me in French. They were like "Aaayyy!!" I was tres amused. (Get it? Yeah feel free to groan.)
As for my out-of-work life (aka REAL life) ... all is well with Bartender Boy. I haven't seen him all week, but we have been talking (or actually messaging) so I'm not as much of a stress case anymore. I want to see him soon though before I forget what he looks like! And I need some serious cuddling. Tonight I'm doing a dinner and a movie date with Missy... should be fun. I think we are gonna see a chick flick... yes!
Saturday I am doing a jewellery photo shoot so I am really looking forward for that... I hope I don't suck... And a plus is that my makeup and hair will be all done up nicely for when I hit up Vanilla Room with like 30 people that night... Score.
Well back to work...In my rented office...
I am also doing Prettie's work while she is away and it's going ok so far. I did a Tender Package all by myself the other day! Yay - Go Immunohisochemistry Stainer!
Today while I was walking to the Field Office these workers were looking at me and talking abut me in French. They were like "Aaayyy!!" I was tres amused. (Get it? Yeah feel free to groan.)
As for my out-of-work life (aka REAL life) ... all is well with Bartender Boy. I haven't seen him all week, but we have been talking (or actually messaging) so I'm not as much of a stress case anymore. I want to see him soon though before I forget what he looks like! And I need some serious cuddling. Tonight I'm doing a dinner and a movie date with Missy... should be fun. I think we are gonna see a chick flick... yes!
Saturday I am doing a jewellery photo shoot so I am really looking forward for that... I hope I don't suck... And a plus is that my makeup and hair will be all done up nicely for when I hit up Vanilla Room with like 30 people that night... Score.
Well back to work...In my rented office...
Monday, May 7, 2007
Blog-It-Out
This weekend wasn't too crazy, which was a nice vacation from the norm.
Friday night I stayed home and caught up on some much-needed sleep. It was great... I think I got like 12 hours of sleep! During the day on Saturday I cleaned my room (that was a big job, and FYI I had 12 cups and a mug in there...crazy) and did some errands.
Saturday night Kristin and I went to Blueridge and met up with a bunch of our old high school friends. It was so weird to see some of them. One of them (who I used to date way back) had just moved back into town again from Calgary, got a little too drunk, and got thrown out of the bar. (Not that I can judge about that one!) This girl he cheated on me with while we were together (one of many) was there too, so that's always a little awkward. After he got kicked out she was like: "Are you going to deal with this or am I?" and I was like: "NOT ME!" and walked away. You can have him honey!
Kristin's boyfriend and the other baseball boys (and girl!) showed up for a drink which was a nice surprise.
I had to take off early because I was supposed to be going a 10KM run the next morning, but when I talked to Jaelene on Sunday she hadn't been feeling good all night so we bailed, and I called Kristin up and decided to head out to this baseball tournament in Vancouver with her and our other friend.
The tourney was ok... it was raining a LOT so I had on two sweatshits and a jacket, all with the hoods up... Oh and mittens...can't forget the mittens! A highlight was overcoming a huge deficit and beating Kristin at darts, which I NEVER play and she plays all the time. Yeah baby.
The only part of the day that wasn't great was that things seemed a little weird with cute bartender guy. It seemed like he was acting a little weird. I didn't even really notice at first until my friend pointed it out to me, and I was like yeah he kinda is. He was talking to me ... but just not as affectionate as usual. I don't really get it... there was a major difference in like 12 hours of being apart.
I mean, we are at this tournament with like 100 sporty, beer-drinking guys around, so maybe that's part of it... And also because of that I'm not gonna walk up and just grab him in front of all these guys, but I usually DO make the first move, so maybe he was wondering why I wasn't? Who knows? Could be also that I am pushing him too hard or something so I'm just gonna relax and let him call me. No more just showing up... Not that I am not invited (I got booed by Kristin's bf when I said I wasn't coming) ... just not by him. He could have even just been in a bad mood, or I am reading him wrong completely. I have no idea.
One thing is for sure though... I think WAY too much. I am just going to chill and relax and whatever happens happens.
Friday night I stayed home and caught up on some much-needed sleep. It was great... I think I got like 12 hours of sleep! During the day on Saturday I cleaned my room (that was a big job, and FYI I had 12 cups and a mug in there...crazy) and did some errands.
Saturday night Kristin and I went to Blueridge and met up with a bunch of our old high school friends. It was so weird to see some of them. One of them (who I used to date way back) had just moved back into town again from Calgary, got a little too drunk, and got thrown out of the bar. (Not that I can judge about that one!) This girl he cheated on me with while we were together (one of many) was there too, so that's always a little awkward. After he got kicked out she was like: "Are you going to deal with this or am I?" and I was like: "NOT ME!" and walked away. You can have him honey!
Kristin's boyfriend and the other baseball boys (and girl!) showed up for a drink which was a nice surprise.
I had to take off early because I was supposed to be going a 10KM run the next morning, but when I talked to Jaelene on Sunday she hadn't been feeling good all night so we bailed, and I called Kristin up and decided to head out to this baseball tournament in Vancouver with her and our other friend.
The tourney was ok... it was raining a LOT so I had on two sweatshits and a jacket, all with the hoods up... Oh and mittens...can't forget the mittens! A highlight was overcoming a huge deficit and beating Kristin at darts, which I NEVER play and she plays all the time. Yeah baby.
The only part of the day that wasn't great was that things seemed a little weird with cute bartender guy. It seemed like he was acting a little weird. I didn't even really notice at first until my friend pointed it out to me, and I was like yeah he kinda is. He was talking to me ... but just not as affectionate as usual. I don't really get it... there was a major difference in like 12 hours of being apart.
I mean, we are at this tournament with like 100 sporty, beer-drinking guys around, so maybe that's part of it... And also because of that I'm not gonna walk up and just grab him in front of all these guys, but I usually DO make the first move, so maybe he was wondering why I wasn't? Who knows? Could be also that I am pushing him too hard or something so I'm just gonna relax and let him call me. No more just showing up... Not that I am not invited (I got booed by Kristin's bf when I said I wasn't coming) ... just not by him. He could have even just been in a bad mood, or I am reading him wrong completely. I have no idea.
One thing is for sure though... I think WAY too much. I am just going to chill and relax and whatever happens happens.
Friday, May 4, 2007
Sniff... sniff
Well, the Canucks' playoffs dreams have come crashing to an end. I think Prettie put it best:
"They played an awesome series! We ride together, we die together. WE ARE CANUCKS FOR LIFE! GO CANUCKS!"
No-Sleep Continued
"No Sleep Weekend" has somehow morphed into No-Sleep Week. I managed to stay out late on Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday this week, and still drag my (albeit looking less desireable than usual) ass into work the next day. Yes, I am a fuckin trooper!
Most of the time I spent drinking at the baseball field. I am pretty much a baseball team groupie right now... I mean I have been a groupie of the so-called "Entourage" boys for a long time, or sorry, more correctly I am Elise's groupie... so I am the groupie's groupie. But it seems I have reached a whole nother level of groupie-ness... I would be kind of ashamed if I cared enough to be but I really don't care.
Wednesday was hot-tub party night and that was definitely fun. We stayed in the hot tub until we were wrinkly and full to the brim with red wine... Nothing better than cuddling in the hot tub and being all nice and warm and relaxed. Mmmm.
Yesterday I was a huge hit at work, when I showed up looking like a cross-dresser. Actually, that sounds way worse than it was... but I did NOT look good after having only 3 hours of sleep. In the words of Prettie: "Danielle, you look like SHIT!" I for sure gave all the married girls who are re-living their single lives through me something to talk about.
Right now I am trying to avoid doing some meeting minutes... This dude can barely speak English so it's a little hard to decipher. Question: Is it bad that I laugh anytime I read the words penetration or erector? ... because apparently they just don't get old to me.
I better get back to work... and Tanya will be here any minute with my Mc-Breakfast. Thank God "cankle-saurus-rex" had to go to a doctor appointment. You are still a sexy bitch to me Tanya! Stay away from those "Hookers" at the playground!
Most of the time I spent drinking at the baseball field. I am pretty much a baseball team groupie right now... I mean I have been a groupie of the so-called "Entourage" boys for a long time, or sorry, more correctly I am Elise's groupie... so I am the groupie's groupie. But it seems I have reached a whole nother level of groupie-ness... I would be kind of ashamed if I cared enough to be but I really don't care.
Wednesday was hot-tub party night and that was definitely fun. We stayed in the hot tub until we were wrinkly and full to the brim with red wine... Nothing better than cuddling in the hot tub and being all nice and warm and relaxed. Mmmm.
Yesterday I was a huge hit at work, when I showed up looking like a cross-dresser. Actually, that sounds way worse than it was... but I did NOT look good after having only 3 hours of sleep. In the words of Prettie: "Danielle, you look like SHIT!" I for sure gave all the married girls who are re-living their single lives through me something to talk about.
Right now I am trying to avoid doing some meeting minutes... This dude can barely speak English so it's a little hard to decipher. Question: Is it bad that I laugh anytime I read the words penetration or erector? ... because apparently they just don't get old to me.
I better get back to work... and Tanya will be here any minute with my Mc-Breakfast. Thank God "cankle-saurus-rex" had to go to a doctor appointment. You are still a sexy bitch to me Tanya! Stay away from those "Hookers" at the playground!
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
No Sleep Weekend
Friday night I headed to the pub with a girl I used to work with to watch the hockey game. It was pretty fun. One of her friends was even louder than I am (no joke.) We were in the smoking room though, and everyone but me was chain smoking. I went home with a stuffy nose and a sore throat. Ew.
The next day Jaelene and I went for a walk along the river because was super nice out. I peed in the bush. Hey if you gotta go you gotta go!
Jae and I headed home and after a nice relaxing afternoon of laying in my bed chatting we made dinner (fajitas yum) and got ready for the night. We headed into Delta to meet up with Elise and her two friends, and the group heading downtown to the Blarney Stone.
There was a huge line-up, almost like there was a concert going on there or something, but we know the owner and GM so we skipped the line and headed on in. It's not my usual scene but I had fun there. I spend a lot of time flirting with this Czech bartender. Hey I couldn't dance there without being pushed all over, so I needed to amuse myself!
After a quick stop at Burger King for Whopper meals we headed home and I crawled into bed around 5:15.
I woke up at 8:30 and couldn't go back to sleep. I just laid there until I had to get up at 10. My sister and I met up with all her bridesmaids and headed down to the states to look at dresses. We looked at a few, but the majority of our time was taken up sitting in line at the border and gorging ourselves at Old Country Buffet. There were so many fatass Americans there... And that is the only place I have ever seen a dish of cheesy potatoes with POTATO CHIPS as a topping.
On the way home my friend called me and wanted me to come out to her boyfriend's baseball game, because she is trying to hook me up with a guy on his team (the bartender from the last weekend.) I was super tired but thought he was kinda cute from the last weekend (of what I remembered) and I wanted to see what would happen. I went home and made dinner... gave my mom her present (it was her birthday) and headed out.
Seeing him in the daylight and not through hazy drunk eyes he is cute for sure. He has amazing Taylor Pyatt eyes and brown hair. My type for sure. He is also sweet and funny. I was a total nervous geek around him though, and I am usually not shy at all... I hope that's a good sign. At the end of the night I made him walk me to my car and we kissed a little and it was (Borat voice) VERY NICE! I LIKE!
The next day Jaelene and I went for a walk along the river because was super nice out. I peed in the bush. Hey if you gotta go you gotta go!
Jae and I headed home and after a nice relaxing afternoon of laying in my bed chatting we made dinner (fajitas yum) and got ready for the night. We headed into Delta to meet up with Elise and her two friends, and the group heading downtown to the Blarney Stone.
There was a huge line-up, almost like there was a concert going on there or something, but we know the owner and GM so we skipped the line and headed on in. It's not my usual scene but I had fun there. I spend a lot of time flirting with this Czech bartender. Hey I couldn't dance there without being pushed all over, so I needed to amuse myself!
After a quick stop at Burger King for Whopper meals we headed home and I crawled into bed around 5:15.
I woke up at 8:30 and couldn't go back to sleep. I just laid there until I had to get up at 10. My sister and I met up with all her bridesmaids and headed down to the states to look at dresses. We looked at a few, but the majority of our time was taken up sitting in line at the border and gorging ourselves at Old Country Buffet. There were so many fatass Americans there... And that is the only place I have ever seen a dish of cheesy potatoes with POTATO CHIPS as a topping.
On the way home my friend called me and wanted me to come out to her boyfriend's baseball game, because she is trying to hook me up with a guy on his team (the bartender from the last weekend.) I was super tired but thought he was kinda cute from the last weekend (of what I remembered) and I wanted to see what would happen. I went home and made dinner... gave my mom her present (it was her birthday) and headed out.
Seeing him in the daylight and not through hazy drunk eyes he is cute for sure. He has amazing Taylor Pyatt eyes and brown hair. My type for sure. He is also sweet and funny. I was a total nervous geek around him though, and I am usually not shy at all... I hope that's a good sign. At the end of the night I made him walk me to my car and we kissed a little and it was (Borat voice) VERY NICE! I LIKE!
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